the untethered soul.
“Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful.”
- unknown
when i was coming up, i always knew one day i’d relocate and live in another city/state. i had two cousins that went away to attend college, but everyone in my family remained local. but for me, there was always this yearning within me to explore other states, countries, and ways of life. blame the Sagittarius in me.
as a matter of fact, up until my junior year of high school, i was determined to go away to school. there were many realities that hadn’t been considered, namely as they pertained to the cost of attending college. by the time i took my SATs, i decided that i’d remain local and attend my state school (not a bad choice, either). for the duration of my college career, i was certain that no sooner than i completed my undergraduate studies i was leaving the area. then i graduated during a recession, and was forced to accept yet another reality.
a little over a year after graduating, i was working at a boutique in Georgetown. i was so over the DC area as i knew it, so i started putting the wheels in motion. i requested a transfer to one of the boutique’s nyc locations, reached out to a friend to confirm if i could occupy her couch for a few weeks, and moved to new york city three months later.
relocating to new york was the first time i’d done something that was for me and me only. up until that point, everything i did was in the name of pleasing the expectations of others and (making many failed attempts at) living up to their expectations. this minor act empowered me in ways that nothing else had. i grew up pretty sheltered and my university was maybe two miles away from my home. moving to nyc was the first time i understood what it meant to not only trust myself, but to also trust in God.
within a week, i found a room to rent from a Nigerian guy in flatbush, brooklyn. i returned home to get all of my belongings, and my dad agreed to drive me back to nyc and help me settle into my new residence. i relocated to nyc with hardly any money, but was full of ambition and determination. i’ll never forget that before we hit the road to nyc, my father gifted me $1000 out of nowhere and the book “as a man thinketh”. i can be a bit prideful, plus it meant something for me to do this entire thing on my own. i never asked anyone for any assistance. certainly, the money was a blessing, but the book is what impacted my life even more.
as a man thinketh spearheaded my spiritual journey as i know it. the simplified writing and bible references were easy to consume and apply. the book forced me to tap into and embrace the God within. in hindsight, its teachings are what kept me grounded during my time in nyc. that entire experience grew me up and taught me so much about myself and how i wanted to live a full life.
i spent a little over a year in nyc, then ventured overseas (we’ll get into it), then georgia (i promise we’ll get into it), and returned to DC in 2012. i’ve been back ever since, but a part of me desires to relocate at least one more time. that’s the beauty of facing fears. for me, it was the fear that came with up and moving to a city/state where i didn’t have any family and every part of the experience was foreign to me. you face one fear and survive (because there are many highs and lows that come with any pursuit), and you realize that the only thing to fear is inaction. additionally, facing my fears informed my ability to be unattached to people, places, ideas, and things. this ability allows me to remain fluid and nimble at all times, while respecting and surrendering to my intuition—surrendering to the God within. my relocation to nyc proved to be my trial experience, so to speak. it was the first of many times, i would make the decision to leave everything behind and start over.
yes, making the personal decision to choose to surrender might not be well-received by others. the spiritual journey is not a cake walk. a spiritual journey doesn’t mean there will be blue skies and smooth sailing every day. nope. it’s work. it requires and demands the most fulfilling work you’ll ever do in your lifetime. i only know myself as well i do, and trust myself as much as i do, because i have become intentional about doing the work and surrendering to the God within (the inner voice). as i’ve come to learn, God is just as much within us as He is outside of us. there’s a delicate balance to surrender, but i find that life has rewarded me so much for this minor act. i’ve made plenty (plentyyyyyyyyy) mistakes along the way, and every single time i came out wiser and stronger. which falls in line with the idea that everything certainly happens for us.
everything starts with creation, with Source. when we return to Source, we return to ourselves.
welcome home.
- mytenofcups x
